Friday, September 15, 2006
tis week has been so busy for me.
started my job as a tutor.
wking n running here n there for frens.
fong was having her exams.
had to acc her as she is worrying abt financial issues.
saw cy n her frens.
wah told them my chrisitan name.
they were luffing cos they said i'm totally nt gentle.
hey?! i'm energetic, out-going and noisy at times
but doesn't mean i'm nt gentle...
since when did u c me hitting ppl?!
pls dun mix enthusiasm and gentle spirit together.
hahaz~like wad ppl always say,
"although i'm not born gd-looking, i still hav a gentle heart."
the day before ytd's afternoon was quite rushy...
yvonne wanted to buy a guitar.
was finding seller but none.
dee told mi her instructor, kian,
was selling whole set at 90 bucks
so i intro to yvonne.
met kian at amk n saw jeremy again!
o gosh! tis week had seen him twice!
jeremy's my estate neighbour.
rushed dw to city hall to meet yvonne.
on the train, i was toking to dee that i had no money left.
cld onli take pocket money (jia yong) on fri.
she was screaming tt y m i taking jy for?! pengz...
yea she tot i was toking abt him.
diaoz...
thanks to yvonne for her cookies she bought!
we went dinner at suntec.
on the way hm, we met roy on train. wad a surprise!
he said he's focusing on studies n nt coming to church nw.
sad to hear tt.
he's such a generous gd bro,
now walking his own ways...
ytd had to work again.
jiaqi's turn. went to woodlands in the morning.
after the wk ended, went to library alone.
borrowed a bk on EQ and chrisitanity.
i saw 'He chose the nails' n borrowed it!
it's in bad condition... mus b too many ppl borrowing it.
went hm n asked ard for help for my baby, guitar!
baby G's spoilt...out of tune.
i need help desperately n kat said she dunno hw to fix.
josh said tt he's nt free so asked mi find jy.
of cos, i was nt willing to.
i oso hav my pride.
always find him for wad?
in the end, managed to contact him
but he hung up my call after receiving his second call.
tt's rude okie?! but mayb he dunno.
tot i hung up myself after waiting too long?
suan le, i mus forgive n forget.
den i received a call fr sp.
on the phone, kept tellin mi abt jy.
wah i really had enuff.
everywhere i go, it's him i hear abt.
so fed up.
n sp told mi sth. it made my blood boiling.
anyway, i nv tell sp abt anything of him.
y is it everytime i realli wanna love him
as bro in Christ,
den ppl start telling abt his things which made me angry?!
offending mi in sum ways.
i dunno hw to say out but sumhw it certainly did.
n i tink frens shd b more sensitive.
i've nv treat my past relationship as 'LOL' matter.
dun take it as a joke! spare a tot for mi.
for me, it's a serious lesson learnt.
so y is everyone asking me who was that guy?
y nt ask mi hw i get over it?!
hahahz~
hm...so i shall share
my true feelings here.
i regretted having made a decision to step into bgr before.
if i'd nv step in, i cld hav been a more happier cheerful girl.
y is it nt gd to b wif the one who's nt meant for u?
cos it'll make either or both of u to suffer
wif broken heart(s).
i didn't rmb how long i get over it...
it's been so long.
n i was being tortured by nightmares...
every morning had to woke up wif fears
n wld always cry cos of the fears.
it's realli terrible n i tink i was under depression.
i tink onli sam, tyng, jac n dee know abt tis.
i cldn't tell my family cos they'll scold or blame me.
every single day, i pray tt God will jus take away
my feelings for him n my fears.
i took a lot of courage n faith to surrender all these to God.
but thank God for all tt happened...
failed relationship, family rejection, illnesses, studies etc...
i managed to grow in my faith as i've seen
how faithful God is for me n He really heals me!
i oso saw a new change in me after i did my best
to put on Jesus on myself daily.
i'm glad tt i'm still doing so.
thank you for all loved ones who've been by my side
during tis period too!
even though my feeling for him is quite confused nw,
i'm still learning to let go.
as time fades,
i believe i'll b able to move on without holding back
n pray tt God will help me to conquer fears of entering
another relationship wif the right man after 21 yrs old
if ever i'm destined to get married.
hahahz~
sat morning need to wk again...
sianz~ cos sam (cgl) asked me to bring my guitar over
to let her fix.
problem is tt i've to bring the big guitar ard even to wk.
den wk will end at 12 plus pm
but i need to attend spiritual warfare workshop
at church at 1.30 pm...
how m i goin to rush over on time when i hav to carry
my guitar n to eat my lunch?! can i still b able to eat?
summore, my employers always drag my time til more 35 min.
realli dislike it lah!
2 hrs...i'm earning like 3 plus bucks per hrs.
still hav to wk OT for free.
for Jesus, i'll tolerate n forgiv!
T_T
<`scribbled at-
12:54 AM
