__``!~SoUnD oF mY hEaRt~*``_

Friday, May 12, 2006

these few weeks,
i'd been moodless.
i seemed to be numb wif everything.
ytd, i received a call fr aunt.
she scolded mi cos
she said tt i shdn't b wking etc.
will affect my studies.
she n my parents r placing hopes on mi
since i'm the smartest of all in my family.
i'm oso the oldest.
i knew it.
tis day finally arrived.
i hav to carry the burden of supporting my family.
my responsibility to study well
den get a gd pay job n support them.
it's a heavy burden to mi.
i know tt they care abt mi.
but it's useless.
my shoulders r so heavy.
i cried over the phone.
she kept calling to scold.
n my mind was in a blank.
i was lost. totally lost...
i went away fr my cca corner n went to library alone.
sat there n cried.
crying for nth.
it seemed to b a small matter but i was crying like mad.
seraph came n he consoled mi.
i cried for an hr or so.
was emotionally unstable.
perhaps seraph was rite.
i was too tire.
i'm mentally stressed out n physically tired.
going bonkers soon!
everything's exploding in me.
my hse was filled wif idols.
i gt spiritual attack again few days back.
but i prayed n chased the thing out of my room.
God is really powerful.
after crying, i was goin to c another sinseh
cos of my leg pro.
den i started to wonder where all my frens r.
out of the blue,
saw hui came n saw mi limping.
she immediately took out $10
for mi to take cab!
i was touched n she's really kind!
jin cheng n jun hao r gd ppl too!
they gt asked abt how i was n so on.
thank you so much, frens!
went to tt sinseh...
it's so painful.
he hitted my leg so hard.
today there're bruises all over.
but my leg pro was gone.
after tt treatment,
i went to hav dinner wif seraph n jw.
jw's sick.
mus hav gotten the virus... now so popular in sch.
so many ppl r having flu.
den went hm n prayed to God.
i cried before God.
He's the only one who understands wad i'm goin thru
even though i dunno hw to say it out.
today woke up afreshed.
but i was still worrying.
sumtimes staring at the air
til my lab partner, daniel, called mi.
i was really tired.
my mum called mi during lab.
she's checkin on mi.
after helping to prepare the da vinci code mag at nite,
my aunt called to check on mi.
i was feeling so irritated.
y r they stressing mi?
they r controlling mi in everything.
haiz~
i went back hm, feeling down.
saw louis, a student fr my mission trip, in msn.
he sent mi a document.
below r the verses.
it's very meaningful.

You say: It's impossible.
God says: All things are possible. (Luke 18:27)
You say: I'm too tired.
God says: I will give you rest. (Matthew 11:28-30)
You say: Nobody really loves me.
God says: I love you. (John 3:16 & John 3:34 )
You say: I can't go on.
God says: My grace is sufficient. (II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)
You say: I can't figure things out.
God says: I will direct your steps. (Proverbs 3:5-6)
You say: I can't do it.
God says: You can do all things. (Philippians 4:13)
You say: I'm not able.
God says: I am able. (II Corinthians 9:8)
You say: It's not worth it.
God says: It will be worth it. (Roman 8:28 )
You say: I can't forgive myself.
God says: I Forgive you. (I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)
You say: I can't manage.
God says: I will supply all your needs. (Philippians 4:19)
You say: I'm afraid.
God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear. (II Timothy 1:7)
You say: I'm always worried and frustrated.
God says: Cast all your cares on ME. (I Peter 5:7)
You say: I'm not smart enough.
God says: I give you wisdom (I Corinthians 1:30)
You say: I feel all alone.
God says: I will never leave you or forsake you. (Hebrews 13:5)

a 10 yr-old boy sent mi tis.
i tink God wants mi to be reminded of His promises.
i simply love God.
the God who made Joshua strong
is the same God who makes me strong!
He's the same yeterday, today n forever!
i'm weak. without Him, i'm really nothing.
i'm thankful that He's with mi!
Thank You, Lord!

<`scribbled at-
12:42 AM