Monday, September 19, 2005
the lantern fest is here again!!
but this yr, the atmosphere is diff for me..
maybe coz most of my frens are juz too bz to make it here..
as for the lover..
he is gone n will nvr return...stated by angie aiyah~sad case manz!well, same case as mine...sad ritez?!tis yr tis day...sux!!!haiz~morning i was online.onli saw bro BL n jac's bf...sad sia.no one to chat wif.so lonely n boring.yawnz~den went to meet beth at BK to study.saw him today for a few times.by chance.shd b happy to b able to c him.even fr far away.bt i rather i didn't c.i tink his freaking attitude is back.n i hate it.pissing off but since i gt no feeling,i told myself nt to b unhappy over it.met yanlong n gang...tyng, hana, xz, annie n i went to buy lanterns, lighters n drinks...to prepare goin to yishun park n played...i received a msg fr yl...he seemed to b pissing off.i'm tired manz...msg everyone the day b4...i'm sick n studyin for my fuckin exams...n nw i'm not organising well...really feel like crying...but annie n xz asked mi to b strong.so i held back my tears lor...waiting for the guysn saw hana carryin the 2 big bottles of water...pengz~those guys hor~like nv bring anything.everything mus b planned n done for them.except for ivan whu brought candles...guys r still guys.they reached there n started to play wif themselves.like ignoring the rest of us...sianz~boring!it's not fun anymore.joo came n i cld c tt she was sad...asked her to join mi for a small walkcos hana n mi cldn't stand the loneliness...joo rejected.i was upset at tt time too.cldn't b able to cheer her up so i decided to walk away fr them first.i received msg fr yifen.mi n SH sensed tt she's so pathetic...guys nv understand a girl's heart.jus a simple wish but somtimes it jus cannt come true.a simple wish...bt nv comes true...life is like tt...even though things r nt said outwe still can understand cos we r all girls...tonight's gathering is a sad one for most of the girls here.the guys may not know...enjoying themselves...but who knows our sadness...onli ourselves n God know...walked to buy a drink.walked back n received a call fr gie tt joo n SH went back.we walked quickly back.crossin the traffic light,two motorcyclists whistled at us...i jus shouted to them 'fuck off!'cos i was damn pissed today.explained to gie y i left them...tink she understood n nv take it to heart.den the rest went back hm...mi,gie n jac went to S-11 to eat dinner.toking abt guys again...haiz~jus ask them to f*** off.dunno y i'm so pissed n gettin angry.reached hm n went to rm to watch tv drama.watched til i cried.i was damn pissed off today.really pissed off.cried to f*** off my bad mood.came online at 1+ am to upload picsn to send frens their pics.ivan complained tt it's blur n i was like huhtook mi as wad?sianz~rather dun bother...the whole nitez, i kept scolding bad wrds to myselfF*** OFF!said til i was v tired n started to blog tis...i hav no mood to study.my mood jus sux.mayb i'm jus pms-ing again?i dunno but if u were in my shoes,wld u b pissed off too?msg joo a nitez msg.hope will cheer her up.sometimes, jus trying to make frens happy.but i tink i spoilt it.dunno hw to explain but the whole thing jus failed...sometimes, ppl jus dun understand...dun appreciate...life is jus like tt...n life is short...next yr n onwards,will i still hav frens to b by my side like tis yr?miss lonely...will i b lonely?haiz~dun dare to tink of itbut we hav to accept the reality at times.poly frens machiam air.dun c, dun care, dun bother...i hope my frens can b more understanding...i hope i can hav true frens...chatted wif bro BL, jac, gie n xz...chatted most wif gie.asking for her opinions.conclusion is tt i'm nt wrong wif my saying.he's a hypocrite n overall,guys sux!!!majority of them r brainless n violent creatures.they nv treasure n appreciate things done for them.they only noe hw to complain n scold.nv tink for ppl ard them.nv spare a single tot for others.selfish!i jus can't stand their behaviour.tt's y my msn nick is 'F*** off guys!'tat's it...tat's enuff...tat's stupid...i spent 1 hr 30 min bloggin tis.hope tis catches ur conscience.sorry if i offended u guys.but wad i said here is all from my heart.i dun wan to lie.i chose to tell the truth n it sux i noe...wadeva it is...hope u all can reflect a while.i do not mean u r wrong.mayb in ur own stand,u hav ur reasons.but i hav my own reasons n feelings.i'm jus lingz, a normal human girl.not God...i'm not thick-skinned to admit tt i'm helpful.but pls don't make use of mi.take mi truly as a fren.otherwise...sooner or ltr,believe mi...my heart will harden n will not bother to care anymore!!!
<`scribbled at-
2:03 AM
